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The extracurricular adventures of Vlad and Ms Crockofshit

Blogging it to death

Krampusnacht 2018 Part Two.

21/1/2019

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​Our ‘hotel’ in Salzburg had the uninspiring name ‘K6 Rooms’ and our room was in fact one of several in a block of flats adopted by the hotel proper which was situated across the road, it was a perfectly comfortable room, and surprisingly quiet given its location close to the railway station on a busy street.
By the time we had found our room, settled in and popped over to burger king for a not very traditional Viennese meal, it was time to make our way to the Christmas market and The Krampus Parade.
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​The following interlude is a lesson in what happens when one fails to research ahead of time, and how easily things can be lost in translation when talking to the lovely lady at reception.
We arrived with time to spare at Linzer Gasse, the side street where the Krampus parade was set to begin. After a short wait, I heard the rattling of chains, and the clanging of cow bells.
St Nicholas appeared first, talking jovially to the children and handing out sweets, he was followed by the Krampus’ who scampered around, shaking their respective booty’s, causing the cow bells they all wore attached to their belts to clang menacingly. My excitement levels began to rise, alas, however, it was short lived, there were perhaps a dozen Krampus, all of whom were surprisingly well behaved, and the whole thing was over in twenty minutes.
I have never felt such a sense of underwhelmed deflation in my life.
​Determined not to allow our disappointment to ruin the evening, and keeping in mind we still had our night in Bad Goisern to look forward to, we made our way to the Christmas Market, across the river at the Alter Markt, where we soaked up the infectious seasonal atmosphere and enjoyed  the many stalls selling everything from Schnapps to baubels, we did take the opportunity to purchase a hand blown glass Krampus tree decoration, which improved my mood somewhat.  
​But Hark! What did I hear? The distant sound of rusted chains dragging upon cobbled streets? The jarring, yet melodious sound of countless cowbells swaying on the waists of many stampeding Krampus’?
Ms Crockofshit and I hurried toward the sound, and arriving at the junction of Alter Markt and Kranzlmarkt, we blundered directly into the head of the Krampus parade, and to my great delight, there were hundreds of them!
We spent the following couple of hours or so, marvelling at the many and varied Krampus’. Participants had come from all over Austria to show off their beautifully crafted costumes and the extraordinarily detailed carved wooden masks, it was indeed a fitting tribute to the Yule Lord, and I am sure he would have been pleased with the enthusiastic display from the participants and the delighted crowd.
There was a certain degree of crowd participation, there being no barriers between the crowd and the Krampus’ We all received a few gentle whippings from well aimed switches, and everyone got the opportunity to get a sweaty, goaty hug and a photo with at least one Krampus.
​When the final Krampus had passed by, we followed the parade around the back streets, where we saw more than one exhausted Krampus collapsed exhausted and dripping with sweat in voluminous costumes, their shaggy head dress and horned masks hastily discarded on the cobbles as friends attempted to cool them down with bottles of water. We picked our way through these scenes of carnage, and followed the still upright members of the parade to a gloomy tunnel, where they milled around for some minutes before bursting forth into the Christmas Market, proceeding to scamper around the stalls trying to terrifying the children, although Austrian children seem to find them more amusing than anything else, there was more laughter than screaming.
The parade ended with many of the Krampus’ invading a stage which had been used for a Christmas choir earlier in the evening, I am not sure if this was planned or not, however, the man with the microphone who was trying to calm the Krampus’ down, was shouting a lot and my German being shamefully bad, I could not tell if he was having a good time or pleading for mercy.
To witness the wonderful tradition of the Krampusnacht parade in this special place was truly a wonderful experience, one of the best of my life, and we still had Bad Goisern to come, regarded by many as the best of the best!
​The following day was spent exploring beautiful Salzburg, which has much to offer, however, in the interest of brevity, I shall tell you about our favourite find, St Sebastian’s cemetery.
Built in 1502, this deliciously macabre boneyard is the final resting place of both Mozart’s Wife and Father, Archbishop Wolf Dietrich, and the famous occultist Theophrastus Paracelsus, credited by many as being the father of modern medicine. Within the walls of this melancholy place, countless carvings abound to remind the visitor of their own mortality, death itself is depicted here, and many skulls, skulls with snakes emerging from their eye sockets, skulls with wings, skulls at the feet of angels, even skulls to hold holy water, you get the picture. Ms Crockofshit and I spent a most enjoyable time here, trying to spot the more unusual carvings.
Next: Bad Goisern!
0 Comments

    Sometimes one simply needs to get away. My neighbours, amusing as they sometimes are often re- awaken in me certain ‘urges’. Urges which invariably concern the use of greased wooden poles.

    Of course when I do have the opportunity to scamper off on a jolly jaunt, my ideal destination tends not to be ‘usual’.

    I prefer charnel house to manor house, gin palace to Buckingham palace, Bran castle to Windsor castle, boneyard to botanic garden. You probably discern the pattern.

    Therefore, fascinating as life on the strangest street in this sceptered isle may be, I thought readers might appreciate the occasional diversion further afield.

    It is my intention to regale you with tales of my light-hearted cadaverous caperings into the weird, the macabre and the unusual around the UK and (sometimes) beyond.

    Perhaps I may visit medieval buildings guarded by faithful gargoyles, graveyards and catacombs inhabited by the restless dead, extraordinary natural landscapes where pagan gods dwell, restaurants, pubs and hotels in unusual places, haunted by ancient denizens and hopefully run by mad chefs with mad ideas. I will not know until I get there. I can only say they will be places to replenish my essence and head off those pesky impaling urges.

    Tread with me if you will, paths less well known.

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