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If I want your opinion, I will read it in your entrails.

Inside the mind of Ms Crockofshit.

Lupercalia Offerings

24/2/2018

6 Comments

 
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Lafayette, the newest member of our family.
PictureDaffodils, there's lovely!
We very rarely exchange gifts for Lupercalia, but this year our nemesis had been shamelessly plying his evil wares on Twitter. He is our drug of choice and after having our first fix at Yule we were hooked.

Both Vladimir and I had been tempted by several new sculptures by "The Kuriologist" that had been listed on EBay and he is like an infuriating itch that you cannot scratch, an annoying little voice inside our heads saying " go on you know you want it". We decided to buy a sculpture instead of exchanging offerings.

Here is his own description of this particular sculpture because I cannot describe it better. Is there a more appropriate gift that symbolises our strange affection for each other?



PictureLafayette, what have you done?
Day Of The Dead Skeleton.

Victorian Goth Steampunk Skeleton Day of Dead Vintage Style Poppet Voodoo Doll

Errr, Yea, we are not quite sure?

The sort of unpleasant fella you'd expect lurking down a cobbled alley in smoggy Victorian London. Creepy, in a chitty chitty bang bang child snatcher, cross Burke & Hare body snatcher, Dickensian Uriah Heep, come Funeral Director sort of way-ish?

From our Art Laboratory we have created a Folk Art sculpture, which is an infusion cross over of Victorian Gothic Horror bordering upon Zombie Steampunk. A take on a traditional Witchcraft Poppet style Skeleton Voodoo Doll, with a hint of  Dia de los Muertos - 'Day of the Dead'. Depicted wearing, what is sometimes known or maybe described as 'Mock Posh', as is worn among some 'Guizers' who take part in mummer parades at such festivals as Montol (Winter solstice) or Mazey Day (Summer Solstice) in Cornwall.

For more information regarding The Kuriologist see blog post Vampire Rat.

"The Kuriologist" Appeal - There are many more freaky non-existent species that need a forever home, please can you help?

Beware The Kuriologist don't take your first hit unless you are prepared to open your own museum of curiosity!

EBay 
 https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/sculpthunter


Twitter https://twitter.com/strangecurios


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Edible Museum Human Heart
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The Heart, a symbol of love

Vladimir, bless his blackened heart broke our pact and gave me the most delectable token of his affection, a human heart, hopefully the unsuspecting soul will not miss it too much. Hat, our Hunky Punk, was sporting a particularly fine example of a  heart and that blessed Kuriologist had taunted us with another piece of his work, the Witches Cursed Heart, which he kindly allowed us to feature on our
 home page.


I was slightly disappointed to find that my gift was made from dark chocolate. I have an intimate knowledge of the workings of the human viscera, thanks to my fiery Celtic temperament and this was so realistic that it was incomprehensible, the artistry and attention to anatomical detail was incredible.

The artist, Sarah Hardy of The Edible Museum hand makes and paints her unique, edible artwork that is crafted from high quality Belgian couverture chocolate. From fossils (Vlad), hearts and private commissions made from the best quality chocolate, they can be all be found at The Edible Museum.

The Edible Museum are open to suggestions, oh dear, they may regret that!

The Edible Shop https://www.ediblemuseum.com/shop

Twitter  https://twitter.com/TheEdibleMuseum


6 Comments

Hot Chocolate Design - Chocolaticas

9/2/2018

6 Comments

 
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Hot Chocolate Design - Halloween Image Spiderweb Shoes
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Spider Web Shoes

I recently discovered the most deliciously tempting shoe range. I am not known for my femininity, as those who know me will attest; it is like I am missing the girly gene. So it came as a shock to me when I was seduced by my first pair by Hot Chocolate Design; they were so me, and they had stirred a strange yearning inside that gave me cause for concern. I was feeling like the Grinch at the end of the film, all toasty inside, what is the deal?


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This particular pair have a blush of the most subtle pink (nude some would say), like the last flush in the cheeks of a nubile victim of Vlad's, as life slowly ebbs away. The main body of the shoes and the cross strap are covered in clusters of tiny black flowers

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On the heels is a black web, the stabilimentum woven by an industrious arachnid. The spider's web forms an intricate connection from the main body of the shoes to the cross strap. Inside they are a hot pink, the shade of a strumpet’s lipstick.


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Heels of the Spider Web Shoes

PictureScrumptious box
Scrumptious Box

Not only were these shoes a gorgeous design, to finish off the whole shoe experience, they arrived in the most beautifully delectable coffer that looks like a high end cake box. The box itself is reminiscent of a slice of the most decadent chocolate cake, layered with a velvety pink butter cream. The bottom of the slice wrapped in a delicate lace doily and topped with lashings of pink frosting and dotted with Iced Gems to add the finishing flourish and vintage vibe. 

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Hot Chocolate Design - Dravulia Shoes
Dravulia Shoes

Then before Yule I fell victim again, overcome with a second bout of shoe desire. I had not recovered from my first affliction when I saw yet another design that seemed created for me, it's like the designer had been inside my head.

I had dropped a few subtle hints for Vlad, like here is my next pair of Hot Chocolate Shoes and like magic they appeared, though I think Krampus had a hand in this.
PictureNo seal pups harmed
These shoes are as dark as a moonless night sky, with a texture that I can only describe as bat skin, that's if they had been made of fur (maybe they are made from smote seal pups) but don't be put off. 


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The inside of the shoes are as black as my heart, they resembled a satin lined Linder coffin, and the blood of a recently dispatched soul trickles down each heel and oozes down to form the crimson soles. On the outside edge of each shoe is the wing of a bat, that is what I call up-cycling for those Eco warrior's. The pièce de résistance is that each shoe sports the bone white fangs of a vampire protruding down from either side of the T strap that forms the perfect black cross. I sometimes find Vladimir reposing in the shoes, such is their resemblance to a coffin.

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Hot Chocolate Design were founded in Venezuela in 2004 by Pablo Martínez & Carolina Aguerrevere. Design inspiration coming from their love of all things vintage and the childhood feelings that this invokes. The designs are limited; therefore retired designs have now become collector's items. They are an unwonted accessory brand, with shoes forming only a part of their design collections.

Just when I thought it was safe I have been smitten once again by yet another must have pair of Hot Chocolate Design shoes but those are for a another day.


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I wore my Spider web shoes on a recent evening soiree, if only I was as elegant as the shoes. I liken my ungainly walking style to Tina Turner on ice rather than the graceful Darcy Bussell, as my friends will testify! Their laughter still cuts me like a Spanish tickler!

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Hot Chocolate Designs can be found on Twitter https://twitter.com/hotchocolated 
Facebook 
https://www.facebook.com/HotChocolateInternational 

Website https://www.hotchocolatedesign.co.uk 

Disclaimer - If you have the self-control of Vladimir in a blood bank with no supervision, then don't risk a peek.

I hope that Hot Chocolate Design likes the review of their delectable shoes, with the Wintermarsh Street and Ms Crockofshit twist and I thank them for allowing me to use some of their pictures on my blog post. 

In my opinion you can keep your Jimmy Choo’s and Louis Vuitton’s, because you know what I think about your opinion,
 
give me these unique and quirky shoes every time. 


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6 Comments

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    Ms Crockofshit, concubine of Vladimir Beaverhausen. In this blog, I hope to get a word in, if the garrulous Vladimir shuts up for long enough.

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