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"WALNUT"Whip

28/1/2018

This is a Walnut Whip

It is an unfortunate turn of events that brings me to this point in time but I feel the need to eviscerate someone. I have managed to curb the desire for some time the all too familiar urge to rip open a person who has aggrieved me, until I was proffered my favourite old school confectionery. I excitedly disrobed my fondant delight with the anticipation of sinking my teeth into the crowning glory, the walnut, only to find a walnut sized void.

I was disappointed that the nut was missing and thought it had been inadvertently missed off the top. I exclaimed " how can this be called a Walnut Whip if there is no walnut?"

Can you imagine my utter horror to be informed they are no longer called Walnut Whips, but simply 'Whips,' and it was not just a numpty in the factory that missed my beloved nut off the top, but someone higher up in the organisation thought it was a good idea to remove them from the chocolate swirl all together, the dirty bastards.

This is NOT a Walnut Whip, You dirty bastards!

That really chaffs you know!

Apparently this act of horsesarsery passed me by and I have only just become aware of this act of vandalism. WTF? I will read the reason for this wholly injudicious decision in your entrails!

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Taxidermy.

13/1/2018

11 Comments

Pennywise by Kelly Potts Martinez.

As you may be aware, presents in our household are never conventional (see Vampire Rat in my last blog entry).

For Yule this year, I found the perfect gift for Vladimir. It was a little taxidermy mouse dressed as Pennywise the dancing clown from IT, written by Vlad’s favourite author Stephen King.

If you follow my blog then you will be aware that we also provide a clue with each present and it can only be opened once the clue is solved. The clue that went with this particular offering was, “I'm every nightmare you've ever had! I'm your worst dream come true!" This is not a crap present or is IT? Mus Musculus.

As the artisan describes her creations so well, below is her own description of Pennywise.

'Pennywise is dressed in a mini clown outfit of faded silver aquamarine, trousers, top and overskirt. He has frill cuffs at wrists and ankles and a palest cream ruffle style collar. The costume is detailed in silver blue ribbon and burgundy wool, also burgundy felt wool pompom buttons. Pennywise has his signature make-up and fluffy orange wigged hair. He has a palest blue wool dressed tail.'

Dracula by Kelly Potts Martinez.

Then as I was perusing the internet, I came across another must have piece to join our collection of curios. This particular rodent was in Vlad’s own image.

Again the description is in the creator’s own words.

'This wicked little mouse is full of devilish charm! Dracula is dressed in black trousers with a burgundy brocade waistband, and he has a purple coloured overcoat with purple trim and little white sequin buttons. He has a black high collar cloak with purple velvet trim and burgundy and black flowered lining with a gold chain fastening at the neck. He has a white stock scarf and tiny black shoes. In his paw he is holding his walking cane and his sharp fangs peep from his mouth. He has a black wool dressed tail and purple velvet top hat with black feather and sequin detail.'

I already have my beady eye on the gorgeous Green Faerie to add to the collection.

Kelly resides in Devon, as well as ethical taxidermy she is also an accomplished sculptress and fine jewellery designer. She has made jewellery for TV, films and theatre and also undertakes reproductions and restorations.

Like Kelly's taxidermy, her creations are beautifully detailed and immaculately crafted, with her inspiration coming from Folklore, Pixies, Myth, Faeries and Fantasy.

Undine was a particularly exquisite jewellery design that caught my attention.

Here are the links to Kelly Potts Martinez’
Website http://www.kellypottsmartinez.com
Twitter https://twitter.com/whimsykells
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/kelly.pottsmartinez
Ebay https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/elemental-gallery
Etsy https://www.etsy.com/market/kelly_potts_martinez

NB All birds and mammals sold by Elemental Gallery and Kelly Potts Martinez are strictly ethically sourced. These creatures are either roadkill/cat kill or ethically sourced reptile/raptor food.

Hemlock the Vampire Hare by Jayne Bickerton.

Faux Taxidermy

For the squeamish amongst you, who cannot stomach the real thing then I can recommend faux taxidermy.

We have a Vampire Hare, our very own commissioned piece of faux taxidermy, made to our precise specifications. He resides above our hearth, keeping an eye on all that goes on in our home. His name is Count Hemlock Beaverhausen III. He sports a black velvet cape with a red lining, a white cravat held in place with a gold and pearl pin. On his left eye is a monocle and to top off the whole ensemble is a black top hat, which is completed of course with a blood red satin band. Dapper is how I would describe him.

Hemlock was brought to life by the incredibly talented Jayne Bickerton. You may recognise the name, as well as being an extremely gifted artist she is also an actress, script writer and stand up comic. Jayne has worked with the likes of Peter Kay in Phoenix Nights and Paul O'Grady as his alter ego Lily Savage, just to name a few. Paul has numerous pieces of Jayne's art work in his home. Jayne appeared in fifty three episodes of Coronation Street as Yana Lumb. There appears no end to her talents.

Until writing this piece I had no idea of the prestigious credentials of Hemlock's creator. She likes to use recycled materials after realising how much fabric goes to waste from working as a manager in a hospice shop.

You can find Jayne's faux taxidermy Crafted Creatures by following the links below.
Etsy https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/wondrousplace
Twitter https://twitter.com/craftedcreature
and her artwork at Folksy https://folksy.com/shops/voodooville

You can also find her on Facebook

Crap taxidermy at Dunster Castle.

Crap Taxidermy

Last year Vladimir gave me a book called Crap Taxidermy. The poor unfortunate creatures in this book have been subjected to the worst humiliation in death, immortalised in the form of Crap taxidermy. Unlike Kelly, the taxidermists in question had no discernible skills in their field, though they probably should be certified.

Here is an example of crap taxidermy found at Dunster Castle, Somerset. We leave it to you to decide what this creature may have been in life, as we are stumped. It does, however bear more than a passing resemblance to Gordon the Gopher!

If you would like to attempt a guess at the species then feel free to leave a comment, all suggestions are welcome.

11 Comments

Wintermarsh Street is no place for children, freedom of expression is paramount here, censorship is abhorrent to us, please do not enter if you are overly sensitive or offended by the ideas and opinions of others that may not correspond with your own. I may profoundly disagree with your opinion, however I would fight and die defending your right to express it.

Wintermarsh Street is a work of the imagination and any similarity to places or persons living, dead and undead contained within the tales herein is purely coincidental.

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If I want your opinion, I will read it in your entrails.

"WALNUT"Whip

Taxidermy.

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