‘If I want your opinion, I will read it in your entrails.’
I am Ms Crockofshit, those familiar with Wintermarsh Street will know of me, concubine of Vladimir Beaverhausen. You may not know of my special skills, honed over the years and an essential requirement for my particular temperament. Some might say I lack empathy, compassion and other lovely fluffy human emotions, but I say I have trouble tolerating horsesarsery, ignorance and the pathetic.
I am an apothecary and a haruspex, a person trained in the ancient art of the divination of entrails. This art is usually practiced on sacrificed sheep or poultry, but sometimes it has to be conducted on the recently eviscerated, those who have fallen within the three categories stated above.
An example of when I would consider meting out such a punishment:
Whilst doing the shopping this week, (Vladimir has his essential needs in the form of fermented grapes) I was in the car park of a local mercantile establishment when a car cut me off, driving in front of my moving vehicle and parking not only on hash marks, but right on a mini-roundabout! Obviously the three hundred and fifty spaces were not enough.
This is the sort of behaviour that will warrant this punishment. Some may say harsh, but as the title suggests, ‘if I want your opinion, I will read it in your entrails’.
I am Ms Crockofshit, those familiar with Wintermarsh Street will know of me, concubine of Vladimir Beaverhausen. You may not know of my special skills, honed over the years and an essential requirement for my particular temperament. Some might say I lack empathy, compassion and other lovely fluffy human emotions, but I say I have trouble tolerating horsesarsery, ignorance and the pathetic.
I am an apothecary and a haruspex, a person trained in the ancient art of the divination of entrails. This art is usually practiced on sacrificed sheep or poultry, but sometimes it has to be conducted on the recently eviscerated, those who have fallen within the three categories stated above.
An example of when I would consider meting out such a punishment:
Whilst doing the shopping this week, (Vladimir has his essential needs in the form of fermented grapes) I was in the car park of a local mercantile establishment when a car cut me off, driving in front of my moving vehicle and parking not only on hash marks, but right on a mini-roundabout! Obviously the three hundred and fifty spaces were not enough.
This is the sort of behaviour that will warrant this punishment. Some may say harsh, but as the title suggests, ‘if I want your opinion, I will read it in your entrails’.
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